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Sunday, November 27, 2011

Christmas #2 - The Bucket List - GBE2 #28

The Bucket List
GBE2 #26

Eva, yeah that’s my name.  Eva the Diva as Grandmother calls me.  I remember.  I’ve “come to” again.  My naturally curly hair, normally kept at a close crop, is feeling sweaty and grubby.  I try to imagine how long I have been chained to this dank chamber.  I try to remember what got me here to begin with. 

It started with a panic call from my Aunt Wendy.  Aunt Wendy is the polar opposite of my mother.  While Mom was born with sparse yellow-white hair, Aunt Wendy was born with a mass of jet black hair.  Mom is a regular “Suzie Homemaker” and Aunt Wendy has cats.  The list goes on and on.  The one thing they have in common?  Family.  Yep, it’s political.

Aunt Wendy was heading to a convent.  The boys were locating Mom and Dad.  Scarlet and I were going to the local Bishop, a friend of ours, to try to get some skinny from him.  Yeah, I know, it’s all political.  Anyhow, the Pope’s network is rather sophisticated and it doesn’t do any harm keeping an eye on what everyone else has to work with.  Pretty awesome!  That was what came to my mind.  WOW!  Behind those silky robes, those old geezers could put a hustle on when things needed to get done!

Bishop MacGregor knows Scarlet well.  They are old friends.  He got word to the Pope regarding Scarlet wanting to meet with him.  They all knew Scarlet’s coven had nothing to do with people disappearing.  They all knew Scarlet and I just wanted to help.  We wanted answers.  We wanted to know that Aunt Wendy made it to the convent and that she was being looked after. 

Scarlet and I had been ushered into the working room.  Row upon row of computers, lighting signals, state of the art configurations and then the quiet room for divinations.  I was very impressed.  Keeping up with technology is tough enough for those of us growing up with it as part of everyday.  For these guys, to have technology down this well….what can I say, I went in there expecting carrier pigeons.  My mouth hung open with amazement.

The ache in my shoulders brings me back to the cell I am in.  Or chamber, or room, or really dark cave.  I have no idea and my head hurts beyond belief.  Whoever beaned me, I sure hope I get to meet you again!  Judging from the soreness in my shoulders, arms and legs I have been chained up for at least one day.  Man, am I thirsty.  So dry, I can’t lick my lips.  Gonna drink Lake Michigan when I get outta here!

People were disappearing.  Not just a couple of people, but whole groups of them.  Not just random groups, but groups of people who were forming political rallies.  The disappearances were even on TV!  Right before our very eyes, hundreds of people just..just…vanished.  Not good.  Disappearing masses is never a good thing. Those of us in mystic circles are supposed to keep a low profile.  This is not a good thing. 
Miah called Scarlet.  I was a bit distracted by all the goings on in the room, but not distracted enough not to notice how agitated Scarlet was.  Mom and Dad were two of the missing.  Mom and Dad had been at the latest rally.  Mom and Dad were G-O-N-E!!  And we had no idea where.

As Sergeant Friday used to say, “Gotta start at the start”.  Whatever, we began our search by finding out which rally they had attended.  Luckily for us one of my young brothers, Logan, had just talked with the folks that morning. 

Mom and Dad had gone downtown to the local “Occupy Wall Street” rally.  I didn’t know either of the cared.  Mom’s normal stance is on healthy food supplies.  Families.  It’s political enough for me!  Bishop MacGregor had his team pull the latest up on screen to review.  It took a few moments, but sure enough, there were our parents.  When it’s your family, they stick out like sore thumbs.  They were looking around, almost furtively.  Mom’s eyes lit up and a grin spread across her face.  She began waving her arms, apparently trying to get someone’s attention.  The technician panned south. There grinning like a lizard and waving just as hard as Mom, was Aunt Wendy.  They were meeting at the rally.  They were meeting!  Scarlet and I exchanged a look.  The look told me she was just as puzzled as I was.

Ok, so Aunt Wendy was freaked because Mom, Dad and about two hundred other people disappeared into thin air right in front of her.  Sorry, that is not the end of it.  Aunt Wendy may have gotten freaked out, but she wouldn’t just run off to a convent over this.  She would have started swinging her fists!  What have I missed? 

Brother, I sure hope Scarlet didn’t get nabbed like I did.  Now…how did that all go down?!  Remember, Eva, remember!  All the pieces of the puzzle are right there in front of you.  Who would be nabbing people?  And why?!  Right there on worldwide television.  No secreting them off.  Some sort of message was being sent, and I had to learn the hard way…got nabbed myself. 

We walked into the local “Neutral Ground”.  It’s a coffee house, that is quite literally neutral ground.  Pun-tastic!  We thought if we hung out for a while we would hear some of the gossip.  We thought we could ruffle a few feathers  (literally there are any number of clientele with feathers) and pick up some news of our parents and what in the world had been happening.  Rather than get any news, all we heard was Chicken Little sputtering his usual nonsense.  Rather than pick up any information, I got just a tad to hopped up on caffeine!  Scarlet decided it was time to take things more than just one step further.

We hopped into her electric car, her license plate cracks me up; New Broom!  Surprisingly, that electric car moves like the wind!  She must have it hopped up on more than just caffeine.  Lickety split, we were back at the coven/corporate headquarters.  Riding to her office in the elevator, I was struck by how terse she had become.  It was as if, for the first time since we were kids, Scarlet didn’t know anything at all about what or why things were happening. 

I flopped into my usual spot; her soft, burgundy, leather couch I am so fond of.  One of a set.  Yes, her office is large enough to accommodate them with room enough to polka left over. 

Scarlet snapped open her control panel.  She dialed up the brothers.  Julian was driving his latest sports car to Mom and Dad’s house.  Miah, in his suv, was headed to double check on Grandmother and Logan, on one of his motorcycles, was on his way to join Scarlet and I.  Ok, all siblings accounted for.  None of them had any other personal contacts who had disappeared.  We decided to contact our main contact in the Homeland Security. It meant dealing with werewolves again. 

A surprising number of  the law enforcement are werewolves.  They have the nose for it!  They are typically the “straight up sort” who want things presented in straightforward fashion.  No games.  No covert actions.  Just straight forward information.  I respect that thought process, however, it doesn’t actually encompass all thought process.  It’s this reason, werewolves seldom make good detectives.  Ninety-nine percent of crime is straightforward, so ninety-nine percent of the time, they have it licked. I had a feeling this was falling into the one percentile. 

Whenever Scarlet and I walk into that cop-shop, heads swivel.  I like to think I am a part of the reason, but I know it’s Scarlet.  She just has that presence.  As though she has always owned the place and why in the world would you think you are good enough to question her?!  I know most of the fellas working the phones today.  They all nod their heads at me and stare at Scarlet.  What are ya gonna do? It is what it is, as my Uncle Brad would say.

I arch my back and move my legs again.  The blood has begun to coagulate.  I ought to have some doozies of scars to show off.  I’m thinking my days as a nylon stocking model are probably never going happen.  My ankles are swollen and my baby toe is starting to carry the wrong color.  When I get home, I’m gonna write down my bucket list.  I’m going to take some time off.  I’m going to enjoy myself.  I’m going to allow the government, the coven and the coven’s corporation to pay for a very long vacation.  During my vacation I fully intend to complete that bucket list.  When I get home….

Christmas #1 - Hindsight BFF #144

BFF #144

They say it’s 20/20.  Don’t believe them.  They don’t actually “know” everything.  The vision you have of the past and how it could have met the present with an alternate ending, is only speculation.  Hindsight.  If everything had fallen in place with an alternate spin, with more information, better cooperation, even nicer weather.  Hindsight.  It’s called that because it is behind you.  Don’t look back with regret or longing…simply look back to learn enough to look forward!  Otherwise, those same mistakes are going to be made again and again.

Here I was, chained inside some dark dank place only Heaven knows where.  I’m cold.  I’m thirsty.  My wrists and ankles hurt.  If I wasn’t so frightened, I would think this was some cliché from a “B” rated horror movie.  The place stinks of all sorts of smells, none of which are equated with a field of flowers.  I hear both screams and moans of the tormented.  I can do nothing but reflect.   Woulda-coulda-shoulda.

We had just begun planning the winter holidays.  When the call came in.  I was at Grandmother’s house.  Grandmother has a small two bedroom, yellow sided, lots of flowers, kettle always on the stove for tea, white picket fence sort of a house.  We were lounging around her backyard trying to make plans, via skipe and e-mail with the rest of my family.   My siblings have other obligations to specific days of the calendar year. My four siblings and I are cooperative.  I am a sorceress, a freelance detective and I sell minor spells to supplement my income.  My three brothers and sister are corporate Wicca. 

Baby of the family, Scarlett is the “head mistress” or CEO of the coven/corporation.  The three brothers are general managers of three divisions within the coven/corporation.  Yeah, I know, it bugs Scarlett too.  But, I think they are one and the same;  A hive of people all working towards the same end. Just like a coven, corporations can be good magic or bad magic it all depends on the end goal. 

Scarlett and the brothers are of the good variety.  They have renovated an abandoned brown space manufacturing plant and with the help of like minded (other cooperative covens/corporations) people, they made the building a green space.  Cleaned up the ground the building sits on, put in reverse osmosis water plant to clean the water, and even has a park for wildlife.  After all, wouldn’t the coven be remiss if it didn’t have its wildlife nearby?  Next time you travel, take a look around the buildings closest to the park…you’ll see what I mean.  Next time you travel, take a look at your friends who need to be “nearest nature”.  You’ll see.

Just because they need to be close to nature, doesn’t mean they are specifically Wiccan.  It simply means they have an “alternate” calling.  You’ve seen the show “Grimm”.  If you didn’t like it, it probably cut too close to home.  Which “fairy tale” character do you have running through your blood lines?

I try stretching my back to relieve the pain between my shoulders.  I learn the hard way, most of the time.  At least that’s what my Grandmother always tells me.  She tells me I’m as stubborn as my Aunt Wendy.  Only when Grandmother says it, it’s Aunt Windy.  So, Aunt Wendy hacked into my skipe session with Julian my older brother.  Aunt Wendy was all out of breath and hysterical.  Trust me, Aunt Wendy never gets hysterical.  Shouting mad, yes.  Fist pounding irate, yes.  Hysterical, not a chance.  But this time….she was frightened beyond anything I had ever seen.

Aunt Wendy didn’t get much out before she shouted she had to leave her apartment and head for Holy Ground.  That was our clue as to where to find her.  She would be found at St Jerome Catholic Convent.  She was scared.  Got my attention!    My family in trouble, makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end and my Irish Clansmen joins forces with the African Warrior Princess of my heritage.  I would not leave until I knew my Grandmother was safe.  Grandmother and I put more protections around the house.  We reminded the flowers that they were as much for warning as for beauty.  We reminded the picket fence it was kept so white and pure to keep evil out.  We reminded the graceful elm (that sheds it’s leaves and makes me sneeze!) that it too was there to keep prying eyes from peering down upon my Grandmother.  With her safely stocked and protected, I knew the rest of us could figure out what was happening.

Meanwhile, my siblings were hastily trying to find our parents.  Mom is a bit of an activist, dragging Pop’s along with her.  Not that he minds.  Most of the time he agrees whole heartedly with her, but with her presence he actually does something about those gut feelings.  (nah, not Wiccan, just empathic)  Plus, after bailing her out of jail a couple of times, he tags along to make sure she doesn’t go too far.

I try moving my legs again.  My calves are beginning to cramp up.  Moving my legs requires me to come back to the “here and now”.  I ache so badly.  I need to review the events to date.  I need to go over what I know.  I desperately need some hindsight. I have tried slipping out of the cuffs.  My wrists, hands, ankles and feet are now bloodied and skinned.  I imagine the next horrific thing will be that my captors let hungry rats loose into my chamber…..

Sunday, October 30, 2011


GBE #24  10-30-11 to 11-5-11

That fleeting feeling of acceptance.  Acceptance by everyone?  Or acceptance by those you want to be accepted by.  Ah yes, popularity. 

The ability to be listened to or heeded by everyone you want to listen to you or heed your word.  Along with that popularity and those you WANT to listen to you or heed your word, comes those you don’t want paying attention to you.  The neer do wells.  The outcasts who would prey upon you if given a chance. 

Popularity is all about self confidence.  It’s more about the ability to listen to the positive rhetoric you lay on yourself and the ability to ignore the negative.  Because the idea of popular is inside yourself.  If you get it that there will always be others who are prettier, richer, smarter, faster, slower, less intelligent, in more need of help…then and only then can you have the self confidence to call yourself popular. 

Acceptance by those you want to be accepted by….yourself.  

The Boogeyman

         Every child over the age of 6 months knows about the boogeyman.  Every child has been told.  Every child has seen at least some part of one….
         The scraping of the fingernails.  The stink of old cabbage farts emanating from under your bed.  UNDER the very bed you have been tucked in by your loving parents.  Parents who have forgotten the boogeyman.  Parents who do not believe you when you try to explain.
         You say you don’t believe in the Boogeyman?  Well, my friend, it’s not a matter of believing.  Even if you don’t believe in bear traps, if you step in one you are caught.  Where did the boogeyman come from, well let me tell you.

Long ago, in the days before now, in a small village in the colder regions people barely eked by.  They took from Mother Earth what they could, to survive.  They took what they could, but it was seldom enough.  There wasn’t much there to take.  It was cold.  Bone chilling cold.  Clothes and blankets were made from whatever could be found; animal hides, twigs and branches, or leaves.  Whatever could be found. 

One fine Summer’s day, one of the elders spoke to the rest of the village.  “This has not been a good year for gathering food. With the cold months soon to be here, let us dig caverns as the bear does, to weather the winter”.  It was a heated debate.  Most were fearful of both the ravaging storms of winter and the thought of being buried alive.  Either fate was not a good one.  Even the dissenters agreed to burrow down low for the winter months, for they knew that without the safety of numbers they would not survive.

Stores of food were “taken below”.  Fire wood and water were also “taken below”.  The town prepared itself for a long cold winter by digging tunnels running from one house to another.  This was to ensure survival.  For if one house collapse, another would stand.  The village population would be out of the weather, slow down their metabolism like brother bear, to survive the winter months and live on. 

One day late in February, during a normal meal time, the villagers were gathered together.  The wind howled up above them  They felt snug and smug.  They laughed at Father Wind and Mother Nature.  The villagers had outsmarted even the Gods.  They pounded one another on their backs in congratulations.

Suddenly a snow eddy blew up.  It swirled and howled and finally uprooted the very building above the villagers.  The adults, ever nearest the fire, were sucked from the cavern.  Cold air fanned the fire and set the villagers homes on fire.  The fire leapt from building to building.  Engulfing everything in its path.  The fire raged on for days and days.  The homes burned.  The villagers clothes burned.  The children’s toys burned. The few parents who survived being pulled from the caverns were overwhelmed with sorrow.  They were certain they had lost their children to the fire.  They were certain they had lost their children to the Gods.  They wept frozen tears.  They died holding one another in their fear and shame.

The children were frightened.  The children had scurried further into the corners they had been placed by their parents. The children called out to their parents to come back and care for them.  The children’s calls fell on deaf ears as the roar of the fire was too loud to call over.  The distraught parents could not hear the calls of their frightened children.

What were the children to do?  How would they survive without parents to guide them?  They were children left to pay for the sins of their parents.  They had no village to return to.  They had no parents to heed.  They only knew their parents arrogance got them swept away.  To this end, they stayed within the caverns. They became fearsome to behold, for they have grown fur for warmth and long nails to dig with. To this day, the children of those villagers  live in caverns beneath our homes only to come out at night, away from the watchful eyes of Mother Nature and Father Wind, to steal a crumb or a toy. 

Fear not the boogeyman, rather pity them.  For they are grown children grasping at toys and goodies under the beds of warm snuggly children.

Halloween - Thrills and Chills - #6

The Writers Post:
Blog Hop #20
Thrills and Chills- Halloween Style!!

We sit at a huge table.  Every “entity” is represented.  The hall and the table are the longest I have ever seen.  And gorgeous.  Well made.  Who would have thought the nasties had good taste in furnishings?  Sure makes my little apartment seem like a hovel.  The furniture is made from a wood like substance I have never seen.  Perhaps from some tree that is now extinct?  Something from a far distant past?  Or maybe from another dimension.  Doesn’t matter, I’ll never be able to afford it, whatever it is.

My siblings and I are seated relatively close to the head of the table.  I didn’t realize we ranked so highly.  Then I notice Roderick ogling Scarlet again.  I guess “we” don’t rank that high, but Scarlet does. 

The Zombie cops have been sent around to harvest any weaponry they can.  The Zombie waitresses came around to take orders for food and drink.  The clamor of the crowd almost makes me miss the buzz accompanied by the blue flicker.  Blue Bella has shown herself to me.  She was apparently uninvited and has now crashed the party.  Good for her!  Show that spunk!  Just keep that gas at bay or you will reveal yourself to anyone or anything with a nose!  She isn’t flitting over to me, and it almost seems as though she came through the tapestry.  Blue Bella really isn’t good at Charades.  I haven’t got a clue what she is trying to tell me with all that hand movement.  Trying to follow her, in her agitated state, is like trying to watch a humming bird.  My eyes just can’t take it all in.

With the flourish of trumpets and the rapping of a gavel, order is called to the meeting.  At the very head of the table is the most ghastly site my eyes have ever taken in.  This Thing stands at least ten feet tall.  It’s massive.  It’s face is in the middle of its torso.  It’s all splotchy with moldy looking colors; greens, browns and blacks.  It has oozy puss covered lumps.  It has five eyes.  It has a valley where a normal neck would be to hold up a head that isn’t there.  It has eight legs.  It is really creeping me out!  And then it speaks.  I was expecting the deep rumble of nastiness.  I was expecting it to hurt my ears.  I was expecting my stomach to turn over and expel anything that was still in it.  And then it speaks.  This little tiny soft voice.  It was almost as high pitched as a Fairie voice.  That voice did grate on my nerves, like a whiney cat, but it certainly didn’t instill the fear it’s body did.  No wonder it was a nasty.  Probably was teased as a teenager.  Poor kid never stood a chance.  It was all I could do to hold in my snickers.  I could see, looking around the table, that other’s felt the same way.  Hands or appendages of sorts were held up to hide the smirks.

Anger only made its voice come out even higher.  The gavel was rapped more times attempting to gain control again.  It did seem to still many of the giggles.  The Zombie cops who had been placed around the perimeter of the hall stepped forward, that stifled the rest.  With all attention focused on “It” at the head of the table, more demons oozed from the tapestry.  The hall was full now.  Crowed actually.  And far too warm for this time of the year. 

We are supposed to have frost and chills in October.  Not this heat wave.  I was beginning to sweat.  Ok, I had been sweating before, now it was a real stink fest in there.  I wasn’t the only one to heat up.  Logan was moping his brow with a shirt sleeve.  I’m not certain which was worse; the stink from the sweat or the stink from the demons.  They carry that fire and brimstone smell with them wherever they go. Eau de Hades.  Probably won’t sell much at the local fragrance department.  Glad they don’t squirt that at you when you walk by.  My love life is slow enough now, I’d never get a date!

The thing at the head of the table began its dialog. “Brothers and Sisters of the night.  We gather again as we go out into the night to rid ourselves of Humans once and for all”.  A loud cheer went up.  Much clapping and foot stomping.  Wide eyed, trying to take it all in, I looked around the room.  Upturned faces filled with adoration filled the hall.  Even Scarlet.  I felt disgusted!  I wanted to slap her.  She was holding hands with Roderick and gawking at this thing at the head of the table.  I glanced at my brothers.  Oh brother!  They too had that stupid look of adoration…stooped look!  Am I the only one who hasn’t fallen under this thing’s spell?  Egad, we are in trouble!

The thing at the head of the table started again, “As promised, we are all gathered here tonight, All Hallows Eve.  As promised, we have been undetected by Human Kind.  As promised, we shall each take over the respective continents once we show Human Kind the type of Thrills and Chills only we can deliver Halloween Style!”.  Goose bumps ran over my skin, I shivered despite the heat.  The clapping and foot stomping began again.

As the din quieted down, it went on unveiling their despicable plot to take over Earth.  They felt they were regaining Earth for themselves to not only wipe out Human Kind, but redeem themselves within their respective factions.  They didn’t appear to be the best and brightest from each faction.  But, then when history is finally written, isn’t might always right?  Whenever dumb and strong takes the day, they are immortalized to the minions.  Not for the sake of the unknowing vast majority, but for the vainglorious ego of the newly empowered victor.  

Just as the evening began to reach its peak.  The energy was certainly on the rise, it nearly had my hair standing on end.  Looking around, everyone else’s hair was also on end.  Naturally, Scarlet had her hair done up in a French Twist so the electricity in the air didn’t muss her up at all.  The crowd was going crazy, stomping in unison.  Banging beverage containers on the table. Slopping all those drinks everywhere.  What a mess. 

I smelled the Fairie Fart.  I couldn’t see her.  I smelled the Fairie Fart…whew!  Strong!  As heads began to swivel looking for the source, I decided to drop one of my “hidden” wards.  Just thought I would mix it up a bit.  Zombies can’t smell…so the just stood by the walls.  The Werewolves, on the other hand, had a keen bead on where the smell was coming from.  I tossed my explosive ward toward the Werewolves.  It went off with a massive bang!  Smoke and sparks just like the Fourth of July! Lovely.  Also, the smell of the explosive covered some of the smell of Blue Bella.

Chairs scraped backwards.  Overlooked weaponry came out; swords, knives, daggers, guns, and bazookas. Brass knuckles were quickly donned, the kind with spikes coming out of the knuckles.  It wasn’t going to be pretty, one blue Fairie and lean witch getting the snot knocked out of them.  Should be over and done with quickly.  Looking at the Thing at the head of the table, it appeared it thought so too.

As Blue Bella and I stood, an onrush out of the tapestry appeared.  There were twice as many of every faction coming into the room.  I don’t believe the room was meant to hold that many.  However, just as when I was roaming the halls, it began to grow large enough to accommodate the growing number.  The warriors coming through the tapestry had weapons at ready and were battling as they entered the room.  They literally spilled into the room, full of fight.  Arms and legs were hacked.  Heads were severed from bodies.  Eyes gouged out.  The battle ensued from all directions as there were tapestries on every wall.  The tapestry spewed warriors of all sorts.  There were warriors from every faction initially represented, fighting one another.

I looked around for my family.  They were gone.  Gone!  All four had jumped up to create their square.  I have to remind them all the time, we are best when we are FIVE!  Hello….Spirit, Earth, Water, Air and Fire!  I step to my space…we five.  We are some bad-assed siblings when we get together!

Roderick steps up behind Scarlet.  He is making some sort of spell sign behind her.  I am tempted to club him a good one.  Scarlet looks at me – you know the one, head tilted, eye brow raised, glaring….I decide to let him continue.  I’m not afraid of the evil eye, I wear a charm against it.  But…attitude…that’s something else altogether. 

Never, in my wildest dreams, could I have imagined what came next.  Never.  Satan himself stepped through the tapestry.  Satan…whew….I’m scared.  We don’t conjure up this sort of crap.  We don’t dabble in black magic.  What is going on here??!!  What have the siblings gotten me into?  This cannot wait until we get back to the Coven House.

I whirl to Scarlet, breaking the star we have created.  I am enraged, hands at the ready with another spell.  The booming voice behind me is all I can hear.  It permeates my being.  It resonates through my very bones.  I cannot hear it as much as I can feel what it is saying.  It is Satan.  It is the dark overlord.  It is Satan!  And, Satan is telling those who can hear him to lay down their weapons.  He is telling the factions the day is done.  He is telling the warriors to let live those who are alive.  Satan is telling everyone to heed him.  I have a tough time with authority, so I’ve gotta tell you it was with reluctance that I listened to him. 

Satan was halting the fight.  Satan was calling everyone back through the tapestry with him.  This had all the appearances of a thing gone even more bad.  The warriors who were living picked up the dead and hauled them through the tapestry slung over their shoulders.  Everyone appeared to be returning from whence they came.  Everyone that is except my family.  Everyone, my family and Roderick.  Who is this clown anyway?  I give him the snot-eye.  He smirks and nods his head at me.

We six, with the addition of Roderick, weave our way back to Scarlet’s office furniture.  I am not looking forward to the flight home!  I have so many questions, I’m not sure where to start.  I still have one hand hovering over the rest of my spells.  We aren’t exactly on his turf anymore, but I’m not sure who’s we are on for the ride home.  With the flare of a magician, Roderick moves his arms, snaps his fingers and we are back in the Coven House.  I look at him with surprise.

“No swirly this time?”, Miah beats me to the punch.  Miah looks worse for wear.  That jaunt into aliensville then into the haunted mansion has taken quite a toll on little brother.  He is testy when he’s tired.  By the black bags under his eyes, he could sleep for a week and then need a nap.

At the Coven House, we updated the files, downloaded Intel, and in general tried to make sense of what transpired.  Roderick and Blue Belle were there for a while to fill in some of the gaps.  It seems there were parties of every faction in the universe who wanted to take control of their own kind.  They wanted to usurp the power already in place and take over.  On top of that they each wanted more territory.  So, get rid of Humans and expand the third dimension.  Open more portals for easier movement between dimensions.  Kill off their own powers, and entrap any others who would thing of resistance, here on Earth within the third dimension.  It seems Blue Belle and Roderick had been working with one another for quite some time regarding the disgruntled.  Roderick also worked with Scarlet.  The ginormous spider?  Well that little diversion allowed the worm hole pocket to be put into place without notice.  Oh yeah...that makes sense.  If we had noticed the pocket, we would have noticed the gathering, we would have put a stop to their shenanigans, as my Grand Mother puts it.  

So, they did have history, just not the kind I initially thought.  Roderick works directly and undercover for Satan.  Everyone needs their spies.  Roderick informed Satan of the overall plan, became a “supporter” of the Thing.  When decisions were made as to who would be involved, Roderick enlisted Scarlet to ensure the faction of witches would be made up of only white witches.  Blue Bella was sent to me to make sure I would keep myself apart and protected from the Things enchantment spell.  Our five some wasn’t to conjure Satan, Scarlet was ensuring our furniture stayed where it was supposed to so we could get home.  She didn’t want us following Satan into Hades….it’s a hard way outta there!  If we hadn’t put a “stay in place” spell on the furniture we would have been walking the line… Satan’s appearance was coincidental.  Whew!  Good, no Black Magic! 

Scarlet, Blue Bella and Roderick are the real heroes of the day.  However, the rest of us don’t let it all go to their heads.  If it wasn’t for us, playing the rest of the role, they couldn’t have pulled it all together and the battle may have been waged much longer.  For me, I’m just glad that one is done, for I know there are other nasties out there just waiting.  October comes endowed with Halloween once every year. 

Did I ever tell you about my Aunt?  Two daughters born to my Grand Mother.  They are the opposite ends of the magnet.  Positive and negative.  Light and Dark.  Not that the dark represents evil...rather just an apposing energy....two poles on the magnet....

Halloween - Witchy Woman #5

Witchy Woman
BFF #135

Miah was late for the meeting.  He said he couldn’t stand one more hug from those alien types!  We laughed heartily at his expense! Like a big ol’ love lick from a Saint Bernard. Oh, I’ll bet the girls just loved him.  He tastes so good through all that slime…you do know that is what they are doing.  Just like dogs “sniff” each other to know where the other has been and what they have been doing, well this particular planetoid alien slimes you for the same result.  It reduces the need for conversation.  It is just a tad too invasive for my personal space.  Miah, too, had to clean up before he could see his way to inform the rest of us.

Naturally, we had to rehash everything once Miah did arrive.  Mostly for complete information.  Sometimes when relating information, personalities become involved…yeah, I know!  Mine!  Of course, it took a little more time than we should have taken.  Suddenly things just got chaotic!  The floor began to waver, the walls seemed to breath, the windows blinked and I am certain the ceiling bowed ever so much.  Furniture started to swirl.  There was some sort of a vortex and we were already in the middle of it!  There was the smell again…demons.  They had finally found our office.  Crap.  After centuries of spells and wards, the demons had found us and found us unaware! 

Thankfully, I was sprawled across my favorite faded burgundy leather couch petting Scarlet’s cat.  Did I tell you she has a black cat?  How droll.  How like her to live up to the visual expectation.  The cat and I both like this couch. It is so soft and cool to the touch.  When we spun around in that vortex, it was like something out of “The Wizard of Oz”.  I was so glad I got the comfy couch!  I didn’t have my legs dangling over nothing.  No empty space under my feet, because they were firmly dug in under the cushion!  Scarlet had been standing next to the couch, in her I’m the boss hands on her hips way.  I grabbed her and pulled her onto the couch with me. Julian, not so lucky.  He had chosen a stern looking chair with no personality and no cushion.  Landing wasn’t very pleasant event for him!

The five of us, in our varied seating arrangements, landed more softly than I anticipated, yet it was still with quite a thud.  Looking around we are out in the middle of nowhere.  I mean nowhere.  No trees.  No grass.  No buildings.  Just a tan mist for as far as the eye can see.  Nowhere.  And, no one knows we are gone…

Miah is the first to pipe up. “Well, at least we have landed.  From what I can discern, we are currently in a worm hole pocket.  Where this worm hole leads is any bodies guess. From the feel of it, I have never been here before. How about any of you?”  We all nod our heads and murmur agreement.  Wide eyed and worried, we each stay seated lest we fall through the mist underneath us.

Worm holes don’t normally have pockets.  Pockets have to be built and they have to have a builders permit from the intergalactic authorities and they have to be inspected and there is fanfare at their opening and everyone knows about them.  None of us know about this one. Wormholes are a vortex not unlike a black hole.  We can move place to place with worm holes and through time with the black hole.  Time is way more tricky to navigate than worm holes, so we can eliminate aliens from our list of abductors.  Aliens are the only known species who can maneuver the black holes as though they were simply corridors at your local high school.   

Oh great!  I’m nervous and I drank too much mead back at the Coven House….I gotta pee.  How did Superman get through an episode without going to the bathroom?  Did he only “go” while he was Clark Kent? Or did he go while changing in those phone booths?  Guess I’ll never know.  As my thoughts hover on my bodily functions the mist begins to part.  I am stunned by the party who appears.
There were; vampires (vain and all with thick makeup), werewolves (true pack animals will follow anyone/thing they think is the leader), trolls(ornery cusses every one), elves (look out Miah), ogres (not the brightest bulbs in the chandelier), fairies (Blue Belle was not in the group- trap), the players went on and on bringing up the rear of the entourage were the zombies (bullies and enforcers).  I was amazed at the number of factions represented.  Did each of them think they would be “top dog” once humans were destroyed?  Did each of them think they could outwit another faction for some sort of status?  Cheech!  Not what you would call the Mensa Group!  Most “humans” were simply one of these factions under cover.  Most “humans” could be unmasked any time to reveal their true identity, so who was the real parasite?  Humans or the imposters?  Guess we have to think for everyone….

Dressed in a handsome dove gray overcoat and a dapper three piece suit, a demon stepped out of the pack.  He slowly walked over to Scarlet.  Sniffing her, his voice rumble, “Witchy woman, so glad you’re finally here”.  Rather personal, don’t ya think? That is so ill mannered!  What a clod!  What a bore!  But, wow, was he good lookin’!  Yes, even with the horns…he was a doll!

I carry an athletic build.  I’m a lean, mean, fighting machine.  I wear my hair cropped so it doesn’t hinder me in a fight. (or get grabbed to impede my get-away!) Scarlet on the other hand….well, she is a bit more voluptuous.  When we walk into a room together, all eyes are drawn to her.  I don’t hate her for it.  I don’t envy her.  It makes my job easier, being less noticed.  I can go undercover.  Scarlet can go undercover about as well as the President.  Not.

Scarlet made a hand gesture.  It signified we were to know she was going to play this guy.  Get answers as only Scarlet can get answers.  I don’t know if I could have said anything…I was speechless.  The hand gesture was more for our brothers.  I could see fists clenched and jaws set.  It could erupt into a brawl very quickly.

“Roderick, it’s so nice to see you again”, she cooed at him sidling closer.  This startled me, when was she hanging with demons?  Gonna have to get that story out of her when we are done here.  Scarlet and Roderick seemed to whisper with one another.  It was out of my range of hearing, but I think Miah and Logan have heard some of the story.  Their fists don’t unclench.  Their jaws don’t become unset.  They both tighten up their fighting stances.  It’s gonna erupt all right.  I had better start getting ready some of the fighting spells I grabbed at home. 

Behind Roderick stood another demon; larger, bigger horns, rough looking acne scarred red skin, wearing a three piece suit also.  A regular toadie…and I mean toadie!  This big lout waved his arm and the scene around us changed.  We were now all standing in a great hall. 

The hall was as ornate as anything from the French Renaissance. Gold gilded everything.  I mean, nearly everything; window frames, chandeliers, doors and their handles, floors, molding, nearly everything.  The long table in the middle was lined with chairs three deep.  That way the faction leader could be flanked by their cronies.  Over the gilded walls hung embroidered tapestry unlike anything I have ever seen.  It was so three dimensional I would swear the images had a life of their own.  The windows were tinted with a white substance, similar to the “snow” we adorn our windows with at Yule time.  I assumed this was to give the impression that there was an outside, you simply couldn’t see it.  Inter dimensional.  The chair cushions were comfy, soft embroidered pillow tops.  Not as life like as the tapestry, thankfully.   Very warm in this massive hall.  Very warm.  Makes me think perhaps we have moved from the pocket to a place I don’t want to be.  Demon ground.

It’s October.  I don’t like October.  Weird stuff happens in the name of All Hallows Eve.  Weird stuff happens in October.  Nastiness is granted a little relief from their respective “places of inhabitant”.  Nastiness comes out and “plays”.  Then we have to try to clean it up.  This time, the nasties have gone too far.  My bladder is full and so is my ire!

Zombie waitress comes to take our orders.  Finally!  I ask where I can freshen up.  Finally!  I order more mead and turn to follow her instructions.  I am mystified by this place.  Walking to the end of a hallway, it appears to literally be the end of the hallway when suddenly a corner will appear.  It is as if the “building” is building itself as I meander.  I decided to have a “look see” at the architecture.   When we get out of here, I may want one of these for myself.  Not to mention, we have got to have some sort of escape!  I take my opportunities where I can find them.   

Scarlet was seated to the left of Roderick, with our brothers seated behind her.  I was, of course, sitting on her left.  In Hell, virtuous women are held in high esteem.  Recalling the tale of Persephone, Miah signaled to the rest of us NOT to partake of any of the food or drink.  Especially Scarlet.  What would the coven do if Scarlet had to spend part of the year in Hell?!  They would flounder without her iron fist dictating.  Ok, in all fairness to her, she took over a scatterbrained coven.  It had been run by old hags in menopause who could carry a thought any further than their next cup of coffee.  Yeah, I know….I’ll be there someday too.

Zombie cops came around.  They wanted everyone’s weaponry.  Yeah, I’m gonna give THEM my stuff.  Not.  I had already put a hiding spell on my toys so they wouldn’t be able to detect it.  I held my hands out as to a child, palm up indicating “all gone”. 

 Julian surprised me.  He handed over his favorite daggers.  He likes his twin daggers, one slides into a holster on either side of his vest, then whisks them out by crossing his arms so that his right hand pulls the dagger from his left side.  Very dramatic.  Suave. Errol Flynn’s got nothing on him!

Miah handed over some nondescript spells.  Probably some sort of love potion and security wards.  Nothing that goes bang.  If the Zombie cops had any kind of brains, they would have noticed.  They are programmed only to get something, anything. 

Scarlet and Logan both handed over guns.  They looked at one another and grinned.  I didn’t understand the joke, but I’m thinking the guns may have been fakes.  Some sort of theatrical props.  Here’s to hoping they kept a real one stashed for later use. 

A movement in the tapestry catches my eye.  A little blue flicker.  With the clamor of all the people in the room, it’s difficult to hear.  I hear the buzz of a little blue bee. 

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Halloween - Ownership #4

Halloween – Ownership #4
WEEK #23 (10-23-11 to 10-29-11): OWNERSHIP
GBE 2: Blog On

We immediately met at the coven house.  The five of us.  My three brothers, sister and I. The coven house is used by a lot of people, witches actually, on a daily basis.  The coven house is a huge warehouse. Just like any other business, there are office cubicles, desks, copy machines, lots and lots of computers and telephones ringing like crazy. Scarlet greets us at the door and ushers us into her personal office. 

Scarlet, being the Mother Superior, Grand Dame, Head Honcho, Mutha of all Muthas…oh, I go a little too far?...well, her office is a little bigger than a cubicle.  A lot bigger.  Big enough to hold not one, but two overstuffed leather couches facing a wall of television screens.  I really like those couches, they are so soft and well worn.  The burgundy of the leather is almost an old rose.  I hop over the back and plop onto her lovely leather couch. But I digress.  She has a kitchenette (hidden unless you know where to look) and a bathroom that is bigger than my apartment.  She does ok.  It’s family, it’s political.

Scarlet slammed her polished, manicured hand onto her desk.  Startling all of us, even level headed , cool as a cucumber Julian jumped.  “Do we know anything?”, she demanded, pointing a blood red polished finger nail at each of us,  “Who is responsible for the release of that spider? Who is at the bottom of this?  Someone or some group had better step up and take ownership!”

In my own way, older sister, gotta poke the hornets’ nest way I muttered, “And what if they don’t step up?  If we don’t know who they are, we sure can’t hold them accountable.  Makes us spend all of our resources looking everywhere all at once and not honing in on the real bad guys”.  I got the glare.  You know, head tilted ever so much, eyebrow raised.  Like she’s all that and a bag of chips too! Evil Eye doesn’t bother me, I wear a charm for that. 

“Logan, how in the world did you find that thing?  Or did it find you?  Where were you?  How did you know to go to Eva’s apartment?  How did you get caught by that thing? We need a complete debriefing.”  Scarlet turned her attention from me, and poured all of her domineering, overbearing, A type “A” personality onto poor Logan. 
Did I mention I’m not part of the coven?  I’m no witch.  That’s for the other four.  I’m a sorceress and proud of it.  I mostly work alone.  But, when push comes to shove, we are family and basically working towards the same end.  I just tend to work a little more “undercover” than the rest of the family.  Getting my hands a little dirty for the overall good of a project….never mind.  It’s family, it’s political.

We run through our lists of “known” bad guys.  Every organization has a list.  You know, a list of who owes who a favor; country to country or millionaire to millionaire or Earthly to other worldly.  We try to stay on top of those “favor” trades.  Politics and favors tend to go hand in hand….and usually, it’s not “for the good of the people”. 

We divvied up the “contact” list not only by geography, but by contact availability.  I’m not sayin’ Miah made promises he couldn’t keep a certain Elfin Princess….I’m just saying he can’t go back to that realm any time soon…like in the next lifetime!  Elves live a very long time and it seems their memory lives on even longer.  He better hope she falls in love with someone who will keep those promises, and soon! I don’t envy that mistake!  So, Miah was happy to take on a few of our alien allies.   I gave him the “slimy” category….lucky him! They always want to embrace…gross!

Valiant Logan determined to get to the “bottom” of this, decided to contact his amphibian friends; toads, newts, salamanders, fish….I don’t ask how my siblings have made their contacts….I’m sometimes scared to know.  So, literally going underground…Logan was off to talk.

Julian, like Logan, has a knack for the unusual.  He is friendly with some of the most unusual folk.  He likes to “dance with danger”…at least that’s what he calls it. 

I knew Scarlet would be talking with the dead….and looking into her crystal ball.  The problem with the crystal ball is that it sucks you into its “energy” and it shows you what it wants to show you.  The ball is not always co-operative and extremely time consuming.  I don’t always have the patience and the time at the same time.  Crystal balls prefer to show you the present rather than the future or the past.  With the future or the past, you can sorta figure things out.  But, with just what’s happening today…well, you might just catch the bad guy doing something nice.  Like, playing tag with baby dragons.  Or petting a cute little dogmite.  You don’t always get to see that that is the same dogmite the bad guy kidnapped.  So, the ball is really open to interpretation….Scarlet’s forte!

Meanwhile, I have to check out the elves and fairies.  I don’t mind too much, I know not to look into Queen Maub’s eyes.  I know not to enter into any kind of agreement or exchange.  I know not to take any dares.  Whew…why am I going there?  Oh yeah, to make an agreement or exchange for information and that will probably mean some sort of challenge….think I might be headed for trouble.  Before I do anything, I need to check out my apartment and change out of these nasty spider egg sack clothes!  I stink!  And, now that I am paying attention, I’m feeling a bit sticky. 

Back at the entrance to my apartment building, I didn’t get that “hair standing up on the back of my neck” feeling.  I did, however, smell something that just seemed “off”.  It smelled like something had been dead for a while.  Something big….it reeked over the smell of vehicle exhaust.  It reeked!  Sadly, the smell was a bit familiar, and not coming from my laundry room. 

I entered my apartment with some hesitation. Naturally, I have a first floor apartment so I can make a quick exit when needed.  Stuck up high, with only one way out isn’t my cup of tea.  I double checked the protective wards I had installed.  I double checked the dead bolts I had installed.  I double checked all the windows and even under the bed.  You can just never be too sure there aren’t any boogie men…and we all know they like to hide under the bed!

Shucking my clothes, I stepped into a nice hot shower.  Washing away the spider gunk was a little harder than expected.  It sorta turned to cement when I got it wet.  The lufa sponge did take it all off, eventually.  As I was scrubbing, I wondered at the makeup of this gunk.  It’s nearly as strong as a steel and yet pliable. May have to see about exploiting that stuff – great way to keep the kids in one place – maybe make some sort of flexible playroom stuff.  I’m not smelling the stink from outside the apartment building.  At least it hasn’t permeated inside, yet. Just like skunk smell, you know it’s only a matter of time.  Why is it the bad guys always want to hit you where you live?  Can’t they just wait until I’m out in a field?  Someplace without people or MY stuff? 

Yes, I have a sorcerers robe. Got it when I graduated.  It is a deep purple and nearly indestructible.  But, it’s just not fashionable enough, I don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb. It hangs in my laboratory. Yes, it’s not just a cliché.  A good sorceress has a laboratory.  I will admit, mine is by far the cleanest lab I have ever been in.  Even the wizard I studied under had quirks about cleanliness.  You just never know what can ooze out of a spillage left untended.  It may turn into a worm hole, or an inter-dimensional window, or something might grow out of it.  I keep it clean and organized.  When I need to create, I want to know I have all the ingredients needed.

With that smell in mind, I went to my lab.  I had made up a new batch of charms and spells to sell to the local lonely hearts club.  I had also created a few wards, protective charms, a few things that explode, and a couple of disguise charms.  I shove some of the charms into the pockets of my yellow and  purple flowered rain coat.  The rain coat has a lot of pockets!  And I have made several inter-dimensional.  I can move nearly anything into my pocket dimension, anything I can pick up that is.  I once tried to move Scarlet’s Volt into my pocket. As small of a car as they are, it was just a little too big.  And, because I was struggling, she caught me red-handed.  Whew!  Talk about no sense of humor!

Nothing came near me.  Checking all around, nothing out of usual outside.  I decide to grab the next bus, just to see what follows me.  The next bus is pulling up to the stop and I hop on.  No one else gets on the bus with me.  I can still smell it.  That nasty, something died, fire and brimstone, it’s gotta be some sort of demon.  Now, do they want to know where I am going or do they plan to ransack my apartment?  I have some “playthings” waiting for them if they plan to ruin any more of my clothes!  I have a thing about fashion.

I ride this bus three more stops, get off and hop on another going parallel to the last direction.  I can still smell it.  I ask a nice little old lady next to me if she can smell smoke.  I tell her my home recently burned and these clothes had been salvaged.  She tells me there is no noxious smell to my clothes, but that I have bad breath.  Nice lady. Guess it’s time to up my oral regime and hit the dentist again.  I hate the dentist almost as much as I hate spiders! I try very hard to take good care of my gums and teeth…because, I really don’t like to go to the dentist.  All that lean back and trust me stuff.  Not me!  I don’t get that relaxed.  I don’t like someone sticking things inside of me that I don’t know what they are….seems too much like torture!

Something flickers in the corner of my eye.  Just my peripheral vision. Something blue.  I have seen that before too.  My little Fairie contact.  A little flicker of sky blue out of my right eye.  I wouldn’t call her a friend…all fairies, nice or not, are accountable to Queen Maub.  This particular one I have helped before.  She’s a fairly good contact as far as fairies go.  I haven’t caught her in a falsehood, yet.  I know to ply her with pizza and wine if I want something from her.  Although sometimes, she wants carrot cake.  Carrot cake with lots of cream cheese frosting.  And always, milk.  No matter what else she wants to eat, she wants at least a thimbleful of milk.  I can’t pronounce her real Fairie name, so I just call her Blue Bella.  She seems to like it and will answer to it if I need to “call upon” her.  Yes, to contact the Fairies, you must perform the ritual.  If you aren’t sure of the ritual, don’t try.  What you conjure up, you won’t like. 

Trying to appear nonchalant, I walk to the nearest café.  Ordering a small personal pizza, a glass of white wine, a piece of cheesecake (no carrot cake today) and a glass of cold milk, all of this to-go.  I had to take it someplace Blue Bella could actually eat it and not be noticed.  The general public still thinks she is mostly “Fairy Tales”, whatever.  Best to keep them ignorant!

Blue Bella gobbled, I poked the food around to make it appear normal.  She told me there was trouble brewing.  I could have guessed that.  She told me there was a few factions working together to destroy human kind.  Apparently, they want Earth for themselves.  They feel humankind has become some sort of parasite and our numbers should be greatly reduced…zero is the number being touted.  Blue Bella doesn’t “tinkle” like Tinkerbelle…she sorta hums more like a large blue bee.  As she ate more and more, she hummed less and passed a lot of gas.  Fairies are a gassy bunch!  She laughs and tells me that’s how the wind got started.  Fairie Farts. 

Blue Bella tells me there is going to be a gathering of the important parties tonight.  The Fairies are invited, that’s how she knows anything about it.  However, we both know she’s not too high up on the “need to know” list, so we are fairly certain it’s some sort of a trap.  Now, do we go expecting a trap?  Or, is the trap that we ignore it?  How devious are the bad guys that they might double cross the double cross?  Expect the worst. 

Blue Bella also informs me that the spider was sent to divert our attention .  From what, she didn’t know.  Her glimpse of the “what’s to come” was due to the dimensional short cut we created.  We created that back when there was enough trouble for the Fairies they sent for me.  They owe me, a little.

Blue Bella asks me to tuck her into a pocket.  She’s become too full to fly.  Typical, now my coat is going to smell like Fairie Farts for days.  I slip her into an inside pocket for extra protection from the city’s pick-pockets.  Just what I need, some half baked pick-pocket going off the deep end with an overstuffed blue Fairie in his possession.  The headlines on the local news would not be pretty.

Blue Bella snores.  Full belly, Fairie Farts and snores.  I am just so lucky to have friends like this.  As I make my way back to my apartment, I can smell it again.  It has either picked up my trail, or been lead to us.  Either way, we have a stinker on our trail.  I wake Blue Bella up.  She isn’t very pleasant when awakened.  But, quickly she gets the gist of what’s happening.  Safety is a little more important than comfort.  At least I have that.  If she knowingly was double crossing me, she wouldn’t have gorged herself so full she couldn’t fly straight.  She can smell it too.  She confirms, Demon.  Now, which type of demon?  Why?  Are the demons a party to the group meeting tonight?  This could be bad.  Real bad.  I had better summon my siblings. 

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Halloween - Haunted Cemetery #3

BFF #134     Haunted Cemetery

Julian and I took our “stances”.  We prepared to battle the eight legged alien creepiness.  Julian is muttering under his breath….I can’t quite hear it, but I am fairly certain it’s something about younger siblings.  I’ve thrown a Love Potion at the thing, thinking it was a ward.  Now we have no idea what direction this alien spider is going to take.  All eight legs came at us with a whirl.  It sounded amazingly like a helicopter, so much that I ducked my head. . . .  

With a gasp, I broke the surface of the egg sack.  I couldn’t believe my eyes!  Or my nose!  What a tumbled, wriggly, gob of stink bomb!  Luckily I hadn’t cut down my nails during routine hygiene, with enough pressure they worked like a sharpened knife.  Finding a thin portion of the egg membrane to claw through was the hard part.  I had to fight off my “new found siblings” to get to the membrane, then keeping them off me while I dug out.  Seems the Love Potion works really well with alien spiders!  Clambering to the top of my new “mom”, I could see Julian’s troubles. 

Julian was dancing, trying to avoid those mandibles Spidey calls her mouth.  It didn’t appear she planned to wrap up my brother for a later snack.   It was amazing.  It was mesmerizing.  This clod of an older brother was dancing with Spidey.  When did he become graceful?  Is that the waltz? With a spider?  Will my cell phone record this?  Maybe I can capture them doing the “jitter bug”!  You tube here I come! Just when I was sorta hoping to see him hanging upside down, paralyzed, with nothing to say….family, it’s politics.

Just then the amulet Scarlet had made for me began to heat up.  I wear it on my upper left arm, that way the thing can monitor my heart beat and supposedly I can talk to it….this is it’s trial run.  I’m thinkin’ it’s a little late in THIS game.  I tend to be the guinea pig who gets to trial her latest inventions.  She says it’s an honor.  I think it’s because since I’m not part of her coven, this is her way of keeping closer tabs on me.  Like I said, it’s family, it’s political.

The spiders that do carry their egg sacks, carry them with their back legs but the sack is actually attached to their “web throwers”, called the spinnerets.  This leaves them with only six legs to move around on.  To compound that,  Julian was taking up two of her front legs and most of her eyes.  Spidey was trying to dance with only four legs.  Not very graceful. 

Inching my way forward, I finally remembered to press the emergency button on my cell phone.  I know I jabbed at it seven or eight times as I crawled the length of her hairy abdomen.  Why the rest of the family was ignoring us was really beginning to bug me.  Spiders aren’t actually bugs, they are arachnids.

Pulling the hairs between her upper set of eyes, moved the alien spider’s focus from Julian to me, just long enough for him to dash to the manager’s office.  Good for Julian, I ‘m thinkin’ not so good for me.  Logan was standing at the door with a worried look on his face.  He held the door open, and I could see him concentrate more on me than on Julian’s mad dash.  Spidey and I had a tango of our own coming up.  I hate spiders.  I really hate big spiders.  I really, really hate big alien spiders.
Logan jumped from the manager’s office, with a sword.  A light saber sword.  Where in the world would he get one of those?! Is this for real or just a toy?!  I’m riding a bucking bronco of an alien spider and Logan has a light saber sword.  Green to be exact.  Pffffuuuubbbb.  Off came a leg!  I guess it’s not a toy. 

I wasn’t certain where the noise was coming from.  I could hear a stead whoosh noise getting closer and louder.  Closer and louder to the point of noise overriding all else.  It sounded like a 747 flying right at us. Bursting through the picture windows, Miah came riding the biggest Robin I had ever seen!  It had to be thirty feet high.  Miah was all crouched like a jockey in the Kentucky Derby.  That bird….that bird…that bird…was gonna EAT the spider with me on its back!  A classic case of good gone bad.

As I was sliding off Spidey’s abdomen, I could see Miah trying to rein the bird in.  I don’t know…which is worse?  A spider you can see it’s webs or a huge bird that may think we are BUGS! The robin tossed Spidey up into the air, catching her in its beak.  Only legs sticking out, even my newfound siblings were already sliding down the birds throat.  I ran, full throttle, to the manager’s office.  Logan had the door open again.  He makes a pretty darn good door-man! 

Miah too was running for the office door.  Miah was shouting some sort of incantation.  He ran to his brothers, they moved to stand in the “triangle”.  Logan and Julian began to follow Miah’s lead with the chant.  It was low and guttural.  Hurts my throat to growl that low.  With each cadence of the chant, they stepped into one another’s place, so that the whole triangle melded clockwise.  With each step, they began chanting louder.  My head began to ache with the noise of the bird gulping down the roaring spider and my brothers carrying on.  Two more moves to the left and Julian looked at me and smiled.  He told me to look out of the office to make sure the robin was “no longer”.  Did he mean no longer a threat or no longer?  Looking out, I did not see the huge bird.  Instead there lay a small skeleton of  a bird, in the middle of the foyer.  I looked at the boys quizzically.

“Scarlet sent me to the pet cemetery.  You know, the one that’s haunted.  The Haunted Cemetery.  She had called upon a restless soul to point out a spider’s nemesis.  The soul showed us the remains of a bird, the skeleton.  First we brought the robin back from the dead as a zombie.  Funny isn’t it, we had a zombie bird!  Then we had to make it grow.  Making a living thing grow to that size would drive it insane, it takes millions of years for evolution to make that type of a change and not drive the living thing mad.” Miah began his explanation.  You how some people are, ask them the time and they will build you a watch?  Well, that’s how Miah is. 

Logan cut in, “So you made a huge bird, it ate the spider and then the three of us sent the bird back from whence it came!  End of story”.

Julian’s turn to break into the explanation, “That’s what took me and Miah so long, bringing that bird back from the dead.  It’s not as easy as you might think it is!”

“Well, I’m glad to hear my family hadn’t forgotten about me.” I started, “But, why Spidey?  Who sent her?  Who released her from her tethers”.
My brothers and I decided we should go meet with Scarlet and get to the bottom of this caper.  The five of us, together, are some bad-assed siblings. Whomever sent Spidey knows how I feel about spiders.  And why hadn’t the agency notified me?  I know I am up to date on my dues. I hate spiders.  I really hate big spiders.  I really, really hate big alien spiders.